Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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