When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i out mim tonsoeep
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