I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
