Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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