She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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