There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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