yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
