You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
