Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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