Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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