I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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