he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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