Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
