let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
