I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
