We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Randomize
