They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
