The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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