I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
