So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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