Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
