you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
