PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
