She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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