we have officially lost it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize