I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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