just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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