NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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