after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
