we're blogging at a bar
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
