I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
