dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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