You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
