I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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