hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
