Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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