if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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