It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
