I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize