I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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