I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
