I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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