New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
