the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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