the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize