someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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