when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
