I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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