he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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