see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize