I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
