i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
