brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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