Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
