I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
