Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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