"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
