omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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