so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
