They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
