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maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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