broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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