I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize