So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
