So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Randomize
