I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
