I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
